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Submitted on
October 23, 2009
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The Spectre That Was



Out I went, searching for a spectre
That would prove to my not so limp
Opposition that something was. Into the night
I sent forth thought after crystal
Thought, only to have them shatter into crimson
Shards of laughing, lightning silver.

Sometimes, though a sliver of silver
Specks would spatter a lovely spectre
Of my ambition onto a dull crimson
Reflection of a crushed,limp,
Me. Light upon light of crystal
I shine, but everything is swallowed into the night.

I am not a disciple of the night,
Its shadows scare me silver
And white while chiming alarms of crystal,
Make my body separate from its spectre.
Meanwhile the absurdly lopsided limp
Form of a thought in my head bleeds crimson.

It flashes upon me, that splash of crimson
Repeatedly blinding me, making the night
Seem almost faint, hazy, limp;
While my life force oozes out in a silver
Splotch only for me to finally spot the spectre
Emerging from its structure of crystal.

After it I went, my shadow forming crystal
Images on the walls of a crimson
Enclosure. But it seemed the spectre
Just wanted to keep running away into the night.
I needed to know, needed proof that silver
People existed, be they of the sprightly kind or the limp.

This one though, did not see to be of the limp,
As she ran faster and faster, hiding in crystal
Corners, while I ran after, a silver
Blur, leaving blotches in my wake of crimson.
As I cornered here into the night,
She and I both screamed "spectre!"

I looked her up and down, while she, limp, only saw the crimson
Splattered everywhere. "Do not!" she begged in a crystal voice, as the reflection of the night
Finally allowed me to see my silver image, only to realise I was the spectre.
My ridiculously...ahem... bad entry for ^fllnthblnk's Sestina-ween Contest!

I did this more for fun than anything else, so don't kill me with Critique please. This is my first time writing a sestina after all. Comments are always welcome though.

The 6 words of my choosing, in order are:
A. Spectre
B. Limp
C. Night
D. Crystal
E. Crimson
F. Silver
Add a Comment:
 
:iconvillenueve:
Villenueve Apr 3, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Great work!,I liked the flow and the end.
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:iconcalyptra:
Calyptra Apr 4, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! Though how did you come by it, if I may ask?
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:iconbelovedangelkat:
You already know I am your biggest fan, sissis. <3
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:iconcalyptra:
Calyptra Nov 18, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
I know sis :eyes:!
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:icondaghrgenzen:
daghrgenzen Oct 25, 2009
Interesting piece. :ahoy:
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:iconcalyptra:
Calyptra Oct 25, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Intersting, is exactly it XD
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:iconsybaritism:
One of the things that helps with writing sestinas, (I don't know if you did this or not), is to get the words as they come and not plan too much. They do tell you to plan out words, but I think that only reinforces the fact that it's a tight format, and thus, is more prone to scare you into writing something you're not happy with, yeah? Also, choosing versatile words is key. Not necessarily plain words but words you can see using for 39 lines.
^ Those are the best tips I can give you, considering I'm definitely not an expert at these myself. :(

However! if it's any consolation, your sestina is infinitely better than the one I was telling you about. :heart: Also, I really liked the way you conveyed the twist at the end. Good job! :)

Anyway, with these kinds of poems, I think the best thing to do is practice, practice, practice. They're difficult, but they get easier as you go along.
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:iconcalyptra:
Calyptra Oct 25, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Mm, yes I realised when I saw your sestina that words like 'was' are easier to use over and over again. Unlike crimson and silver :paranoid:

And lord, the more I read my sestina the more I don't like it XDD I bet it doesn't even make sense to anyone but me! And yes, I look forward to improving my art with your help :D

Thanks once again!
:cuddle:
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:iconnobodysson:
NobodysSon Oct 23, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
You are a better man than I, Gunga-din...er...Juhi.
Reply
:iconcalyptra:
Calyptra Oct 24, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
I'm a better man than a woman in most things that I do, at any rate :bucktooth:
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